Stand In The Rain
by Zanessaluver94
Summary: Hearts Break all the time but no one ever expected Edwards and Bella's too. They've been broken up for two years but how come bella's 7 months pregant with his child? ExB ExT
1. Stand In The Rain

**So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
So stand in the rain  
Superchick – Stand in the the rain  
**

You always thought that these two would last forever, but no that's not the case at hand. They slipped through each other's fingers. Falling at incredible speed but neither could catch the other. Their love was apparently over. It surprised everyone to find out that Bella and Edward Cullen had separated after 10 years of being together.

Bella and Edward were together since they turned 17, making every guy and girl at Forks local high school completely gelouse of the opposite sex. Both moving forward in their lives they had to get their head around a long distance relationship for 3 years at the age of 18. It was hard but they pulled through. Bella got her Law diploma and Edward his Architectural, Edward also dribbled in photography once he found out that he was actually god he went to school for that as well.

A couple of years later at the age of 25 Bella fell pregnant with their first born girl Mayella Rae Cullen, then two hectic years later Edward had accomplished so much, that he and his two younger brothers Jasper and Emmet launched the 10 story building in the heart of New York. Cullen Inc. One half Law Firm the other half Architectural, as Jasper and Emmet were both lawyers. Also at the very bottom of the building was a section for Edward to photograph celebrities.

Also in that year there second daughter which only just made it as she wrapped herself around her own umbilical cord Renessme was born. Edward had it all. He had the family he also wanted. The love of his life rights next to him each and every step of the way. And also Cullen Inc.

That was until he came home from work after just finishing up on a house he was designing and photographing a celebrity. To find Bella throwing her clothes and the kids clothes into a suitcase.

Flashback.

_Edward had just finished up his last project for the month, which meant more time at home with the kids and Bella even though she is his secutary, which for some odd reason she loved doing, even though she could of gotten a job at his Brothers Law firm which was only 4 floors down from him. But he didn't mind because as she put it one night. "You're always better on top" which set the mood._

_He walked in the door to find Renessme in her car seat sleeping on the kitchen table and Bella nowhere to be seen, he lent down to his miracle and kissed her on the head. He put his briefcase on the ground and picked up the handle of the car seat and started to walk up the stairs. He heard movement in his room so he walked in. _

_Bella was throwing her clothes into a suitcase while wiping away her tears; Edward looked to the left and saw the kids suitcases all packed. He also saw a note addressed to him on the dresses. He quickly re-lived his child hood memory of his father leaving him and his brothers and mother the same way. He placed Renessme on the bed and quickly got a hold of Bella's hands to at least ry and stop her._

"_Baby! What are you doing?" Edward asked _

"_DO NOT baby me" she fired back while trying to get loose of his grip but failed. Edward pushed her on the bed softly and lay on top of her carful and didn't put any of his weight on her. He pushed her bangs out of her face and she hissed at him _

_What the hell was happening, what did I do? He thought_

"_Tell me what you thought you were going to do! Tell me Bella I need to know" he gently asked while looking into her eyes which had tears streaming out of them"_

"_I'm leaving you Edward, get the fuck off of me you fucking prick, that I wouldn't find out what you did, huh I'm Bella Cullen I . Know. Everything" she seethed out of her clenched teeth._

_He quickly jumped off of her out of surprise she had never been this violent, well no that's a lie. _

"_What are you talking about?" he asked her _

"_Oh, don't play dumb, I know you, you aren't stupid" she responded and then zipped up her suitcase._

"_I HAVE NO IDE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING" he screamed back at her, she flinched back. Then stood strong, and threw the girls suitcase out the window which was above were that cars are kept. She only has so many hands._

"_Fuck off Cullen, its over, that's cat's out of the bag! How could you! You had a family waiting for you at home but no! For fuck sake!" she screamed at him and then Renessme started to cry, _

_Edward was quick on his feet to calm her down. But Bella pulled the car seat out of his hands._

"_Don't you dare touch her" she seethed at him the picked up her own suitcase._

"_She's my daughter!" he roared back trying to grab that car seat out of her hands._

"_Not. Any. More" she again seethed back_

"_Who's going to get her to sleep at night? Hold her when she's ill? Dress her in the mornings?" his voice started to break "play with her … NO she is mine and so is Mayella, don't you dare take them away from me" he roared _

"_I'll find someone, it won't be that…" Edward was looking everywhere_

"_Where's Mayella?" he cut her off and began to look for her, his heart started to race._

"_WHERE IS SHE? He yelled while still looking_

"_Not here! She left for a friend's house two hours ago I have to go pick her up" more tears ran down her face and her voice again started to break. She walked out of the house and got in the car after putting in Renessme and picking up the suitcases that she threw out there and placed them in the back. _

_She knew that he was watching her; she knew that two hearts were breaking tonight but he should have thought of that. She got in and started the car._

_Edward walked to the window and sniffed and then wiped away his tears_

"_When will you be back?" he whispered _

"_Never" she replied and then drove away _

End of flash back

That was the hardest day, that day he lost everything, now, now he has Tanya. What a great girl she is! Not, she is nothing compared to Bella. He had to settle until Bella would take him back but it had been two years to that very day, it was hard it still is but he won't let that dream go of them retuning to each other, that their hearts will once again re-unite.

Bella Cullen was 7 months pregnant going through a divorce with her ex husband. It was hard for her, no more memories to make; this child won't have a father to have around. Lately she has been Horney and sad in one! She can't have sex because who will she have it with and when her friends say with the father she breaks down crying. But today she had to be strong, because he didn't need to know what she was feeling he didn't deserve her tears.

Today Edward's lawyers and her's were meeting. The bad part was that his lawyers were his brothers and the disgusted look that they gave her each and every time she walked past hurt her most! They were the uncles to her... Their children but will not come and see them.

Tony (her Lawyer) and herself walked into the room to see Edward and jasper on one end on the table talking. They quickly sat down and Bella bite her lip as usual. This time to taste blood. She bite to hard. She looked up to see Edward looking at her lips with a broken heart look. She wiped away the blood while still looking at Edward, he looked up and they connected eyes, she really wishes that she had been right about him but was not. She wished she didn't leave but she did. She wished that he still loved her enough to forgive her but he didn't. And it was her fault

"Alright where here to talk about the kids right?" jasper began and that broke Edwards and Bella's eye contact. They both looked at him.

Jasper was looking straight at Bella with a solemn look on his face but that disappeared when Tony started to talk.

"Yes that's right, Mrs. Cullen would like full custody of the kids" everyone turned to tony like he had grown two heads.

"WHAT?!?!?!?! NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT" Edward screamed at tony then turned to Bella who again bite her lips to hard and blood drew again.

"For god's sake stop biting you lip please" he said out loud but then covered his mouth.

"That's right Mrs. Cullen..." Bella began to whisper

"Sorry what was that?" jasper asked

"Swan is my name" she replied "and that's not what I want" she said to Tony

He looked at her like she was stupid.

"Bella" he started but Edward butted in

"Isabella to you sir, only one person calls her Bella and that not you" he said and Jasper rolled his eyes, why doesn't his brother just get back together with her?

Tony smirk at him and then looked back at Bella

"Isn't that what you want honey?" Tony asked Bella

Edwards's heart broke into a million pieces. No she can't of moved on. She can't take away my kids

"No, not at all" she began "their his kids too" she said

"Alright then what would you like Miss. Swan?" Jasper asked he then looked at Edward and saw him give him the evil eyes. Edward leaned in and whispered to jasper

"Her names Cullen fucker!" he said then leaned back. Jasper rolled his eyes; he just wished that this wouldn't come to it! He wished that his brother and his ex would get back together; he saw the hurt and pain that this would causing! Why couldn't that?

"Edward can have them every Thursday and Friday and every second weekend, he can also come and see then when he wants to and call as well but if he wants them any other day he has to make arrangements first and I'll decide if they can go "she spoke clearly until then end when they all saw the single tear fall down her eye, all their hearts broke for the girl.

"Done" Edward said. Bella looked up to him, why wouldn't he fight for them? Why wouldn't he fight for her?

_I guess that Edward had moved on, but the pain hadn't she_ thought

**She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why  
but she knows that when she's all alone,  
feels like it's all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long  
and she fears if she cries  
that first tear,  
the tears will not stop raining down**


	2. Ego

**It's on,  
Baby lets get lost  
You don't need  
To call into work,  
Cuz you're the boss  
For real want you  
To show me how you feel  
I consider myself  
Lucky that's a big deal**

**Beyonce – Ego **

Bella's P.O.V

I am now 7 months pregnant with my Ex- Husbands child; I still remember the day that I had sex with him. It was so stupid and idiotic of me. I couldn't help it though, if you knew Edward Cullen like I knew him or have even seen him before I'm you wouldn't kick him out of bed or off of a desk would you?

7 months ago

_I was sitting at my desk typing up Edwards's letter to the house owner. I was trying to get this done so I could go home to our kids but Edward that jackass left it for me to do, even though I still loved him with my whole heart he still pissed me off. _

_I heard his door knob twist; I knew he was coming out of his office with his new client. Tanya, she had been trying to get him when we were together and now well let's just say that the amount of fabric she wears doesn't even come close to a tea-towel. _

"_Well Tanya, I hope that you like the designs that I drew up for you" Edward started_

_I looked in their direction and gave them a fake smile, then went back to my job. I heard her laugh that high pitch laugh god it was like someone was dragging their finger nails down a chalk board! _

"_Of course I did honey, I mean Mr. Cullen" she replied while running her fingers up his torso and then kissed his check and left._

_I snorted before he walked into his office; he turned around to face me._

"_Is there a problem Mrs. Cullen?" he asked with a super sweet voice and a large smile to go with it._

"_It's Miss. Swan, Sir and no there isn't" he growled and started to walk back into the office_

"_Not until the divorce honey" he sang back _

"_Fuck you" I quickly answered before he closed the door. Then he opened it again. He had growl across his face. _

"_You could of honey but yet you left it behind and took my children with you without even saying why" he said back _

_I stood up, how dare him! Even though I knew I was wrong. He didn't have to rub it in my face_

"_First don't bring the kids in this! Second I don't want that tramp around our kids" I said back not mentioning the sex part_

"_You don't have a say in that. Remember. You. Left. Me" he said back _

_He moved closer to me, our lips almost touching._

"_I don't care there mine. Your mine" I pushed my lips onto his, his soft lips pushing just a forcibly against mine, moving as one._

_I moaned at the contacted that I had waited for as his hands swept over my body while mine tangled in his hair. He stumbled forward so I was sitting on the desk._

_I broke away but that didn't stop him, he moved his lips across my pulse and started to suck_

"_Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moaned again. I could feel myself starting to get wetter by the second. I made a move for his belt buckle and successfully took it off. His lips soon found mine as his hands pushed up my skirt do it was around my waist. He soon pushed down my top so that my breasts could be set free and started to work on them. _

_He slid his tong around my fully erected nipple while on the other he pinched and kneaded and pulled with his fingers._

"_Ohhhhh, Edward. God more" he smirked into my breast. I fumbled with his fly to his pants. But he soon took over. In one quick movement his pants were down and he was taking off my underwear._

_His fingers trailed back up my legs leaving a burning sensation of need left behind them. My back arched as he got the my inner thighs, moving sickening slow to my core, that place that had been begging him to come out and play with._

_My finger slipped up my wet. Sloppy slit_

"_Ohhhhh god" I moaned out in pleasure while I threw my head back_

"_God Bella you're so wet for me" he whispered into my vagina. He teased my opening and my clit and then stuck that finger in his mouth as I watched _

"_Ohhhhh god, Edward please don't tease me" I told him_

_He smirk at me, he moved his head towards my clit and licked me once and then breathed in. he and I moaned in sink._

_He began to suck on my clit, to which I moaned in response. I felt a finger slip in to my and pump, then another was added then another I was so close._

"_OH god Edward I'm about to come oh please of fuck yes just like that." I played with my tits as his fucked my pussy with his fingers faster and sucked even harder than before _

"_Oh GOD YES EDWARD MMMMM JUST LIKE THAT OHHHHH GOD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS" he kept pumping as I came my body began to shake but it was amazing._

_I smiled a lazy smile as he began to swipe his cock up and down my slit teasing my opening and making me shiver as he touched my clit._

"_Mmmmm ready baby?" he asked me I bit my lip and nodded._

_He entered my hard._

"_Oh god Bella you're so tight" I moaned back. He stayed still for a few moments, not wanting to spill his seed._

_He then began to move. Pumping his huge cock in and out of my sweet pussy. I moaned each and every time it hit my wall_

"_Hmm you like that huh? Like my cock fucking your pussy! Mmmmm I bet you do, oh god mmmmm fuck" he said to me. I like it when I get hit or even yanked by the tit's in sex but most of all I like the dirty talk. I like it rough and Edward new that._

"_Mmmmm my pussy needs more, god fuck me harder Edward I know you can put that cock to good use" his thrust became stronger and faster. I didn't know what to touch. My hands where moving ever where, my whole body moved with every thrust, my fingers started to play with my clit which only made Edward go faster_

" _oh god my tit's Edward" he quickly grabbed on to them using them to help him thrust into me while playing with my nipples, my walls began to clench I knew he was ready and so was I._

_I looked into his eyes and he did the same_

"_Come with me Bella" he sang sweetly and I did my come spraying itself on to his cock while his onto my walls. But I knew we weren't done_

_He pulled out of me while I tuned to my ass was facing him, I turned my head back and wiggled me ass. He smirked and then plunged into me_

"_OHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD "I yelled as his started to pump his cock into my pussy hard and fast_

"_Mmmmm you like my pussy don't you? Mmmmmmmm fuck it good baby! Fuck it hard" I said and he did his hands crept in and played with my clit oh I was so close. My back arched when I was about to come and I did but he wasn't done. _

_He pulled me onto the chair with so I could ride him, his hands slipped to my hips and helped my move, I pushed my hair to one side so he could kiss the other. my walls began to clench, I knew he was close so I reached down and began to play with his balls, as soon as I cam I squizzed them and he then came. _

_I got off him and put my clothes back on properly and pushed down my hair. I look at him. _

"_This isn't to happen again you hear me? He nodded_

_And I walked out _

It hasn't happened again and I really wish it would! But now he doesn't look at me only to my stomach I told him it was his and he tries to take care of everything. I want him there in this Childs life hell I want him back but how do I do it?

ALICE

**It's too big  
It's too wide  
It's too strong  
It wont fit  
It's too much  
It's too tough  
He talks like this  
Cuz he can back it up  
He got a big ego  
Such a huge ego  
I love his big ego  
It's too much  
He walks like this  
Cuz he can back it up**


	3. We Live

** I would like to thank the following for reviwing  
flock6  
vampyregurl09  
vampiregirl **

**Also, in later chapter's you will find out twhy bella brke up with Edward, sorry if i confused you a little.**

**hope you like the next chapter! **

**Best song ever!!!!!!! **

* * *

There's a man who waits for the tests  
to see if the cancer has spread yet  
and now he asks, "So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?"  
If I could have the time back how I'd live  
Life is such a gift  
so how does the story end?  
Well this is your story and it all depends  
so don't let it become true  
Get out and do what we were meant to do

**Superchick- We Live**

**Bella P.O.V**

I walked into the office as usual on a Monday morning, placing my freshly made coffee on my desk and then setting up the PC as normal. My day was perfect. I just knew something bad was going to happen, it always does. my life had sort of gone downhill since I lift Edward, my love life was in the shit house, my best friends are his sisters, well I guess they can kind of be called mine because we aren't exactly divorced yet. 2 weeks away at 10 on Monday I will be a free woman. YAY

I felt him kick in my stomach, I looked down while rubbing my belly the only real good thing that Edward and I have done since the breakup. My first little baby boy. Most likely going to be the last of the Cullen clan in our family, I mean I'm not with him, Edward that is. But I've made the decision he will be a full blown Cullen.

I didn't hear his door open, nor did I hear the footsteps he took to make it over to me. He placed his hand next to mine and it made me jump. Our boy started to kick much harder, of course he's a daddy's boy. All of my children are daddy's babies. I looked up at him and he was looking at me. I looked into his eyes, as he always say's 'The eyes are the window to the soul' that line always made me melt, right now staring into his eyes, made me feel like nothing was wrong with us, that I didn't leave him but in reality I did and we weren't and it just makes my heart shatter even more.

We heard a clearing of a throat and our heads snapped towards the one and only Carlisle Cullen. He was smiling at us, smirking would also be another word to use. Edwards hand soon left my belly like it was on fire, my boy stoped kicking me at the loss of his touch, I felt the same way. Not wanted, not loved, alone.

"Well hello" Carlisle started "and how is the little Cullen family going?" he joked, I smiled at him while Edward looked everywhere and anywhere apart from me.

"Anyway, how are you Bella? We haven't seen or spoken to you in ages"

"I'm good that's Carlisle, the kids are good as well. We can't wait for Thursday" I replied.

"Ah yes, the famous Esme Cullen family dinner, I can't wait 2 pregnant women and a very proud grandmother "he again joked and I laughed.

"Alright then dad was there something you wanted to say?" Edward asked as he motioned towards the door

"Oh no I just wanted to come and see the both of you, see if you would both get over this thing you have going on and see the love that is still there"

"Dad we've talked about this just but out of it and leave" Edward seethed at him.

"Son, it's still there, it's just hidden or maybe it's not, maybe your both scared of facing the truth. Tell each other how you feel before it's too late. Before you lose each other" he stated before he left.

I sat their shocked, he was right. I needed to tell Edward that I loved him with all my heart.

"Bella"

"Edward" we laughed

"You go"

"You go" no I was getting frustrated.

"Edward I sti…" I got cut off by the phone.

"Hello Cullen Inc. how can I help you today?" I asked in a very polite voice, Edward sat on the edge of the desk and started to look at our kids and family photos that were flashing across the computer screen, they were my screen saver, he started to laugh hard when he saw the one of him and Mayella at her 2nd birthday, they had cake everywhere. Good times.

"Umm, yes miss I was looking for a MRS. Cullen or Miss. Swan by a chance" I became focused on the phone call

"Yes, this is she may I asked who is calling?" I asked

"Hello, Miss Swan I am Doctor Begreen, I was wondering if you could come to the surgical ward at the hospital" I became panicked, I looked at Edward and he also was as well.

"Of course but May I ask why?"

" It's about your mother Miss, I'd like to talk to you face to face " he replied.

"Of course I'll be there soon" I had tears in my eyes threatening to fall, what had Renee done this time?

"I'll see you soon good bye Miss Swan" I hang up the phone and began to search my desk for my keys and jacket.

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked as he gripped my hands, my tears kept falling I breathed in and searched his eyes for anything. Love is what was returned to me.

"My Mum, something happened. She's at the hospital in the surgical ward" I said breaking free and getting my phone.

"Omg, Bella, take the company car and I'll meet you there" he said to me while ringing the Front desk.

"Edward you..." I was cut off by his finger

"Hello, yes can I have the company car ready for now, it's for Mrs. Cullen" my heart swelled at the name, I missed it

"Thank you" Edward grabbed his coat and lead me to the Office elevator, I always thought it was weird that we had to walk about f passes to the elevator and we only had one person up the top here well two.

"Thankyou "I whispered and broke down crying again, Edward lead me into his arms hugging me with everything he had. I missed fitting perfectly into his arms, I missed sleeping with him and next to him, looking at him play with the kids, watching him sleep, or just having our moments when it was just us and no one else. I need him back.

"It's going to be ok Bella, it just has to be." He told me as we walked into the garage were Jake was waiting for us with the door to the car open. I climbed in and heard Edward tell Jake to go to the hospital and that he will meet me there.

"Why aren't you coming in this car" I asked

"I have to organise the kids to be picked up in 3 hours I'll be there soon" I smiled at him as he closed the door.

Mum can't be sick, she just can't be. She was there for everything. She's needs to be there. She's my mum I love her with everything I have. She's my best friend. She can't die.

I was thinking about everything, that I didn't even notice we had arrived. Jake had a solemn look on his face which killed me even more inside.

"Everything will be alright Bella" the way he said it compared to the way Edward said it, it just made me feel worse but I put on a smile for him and headed towards the front desk.

"Hello how may I help you?" the front desk clerk asked

"I was called by Dr. Begreen, he said to come down immediately about my mother" She smiled a sad smile, no what the hell has Renee done this time.

"Yes, just take a seat and I'll beep him" I nodded and said it the ridicules' plastic chairs.

It didn't take long for Dr. Begreen to appear, he was muscular with light brown hair and deep blue eyes, he was very handsome. He looked to be about my age.

"Ah, Miss Swan. If you could just follow me" he waited for me to get up and then we started to walk down the brightly lit hall. White, white isn't a happy colour! It also hurts you eyes. Why don't these people understand that?

"Miss Swan, your mother came in yesterday claiming you have pain in her lower back" he said as we were walking " after some test's we discovered she had liver cancer, this morning she went under surgery but unfortunately we couldn't get all of it" I broke down crying on the floor, he was looking everywhere but apart from me. If he wanted me to get up he would have to help me, but yet he didn't. What man tells a daughter that basically your mothers walking on the move especially when she is pregnant?

I felt two arms encircle me from around the waist, they hosted me up and kept a hold of me to make sure I didn't fall again, I fell limp again his body smelling the same smell I have for the past 10 years.

"Sir, thank you for helping me with her but May I ask who you are?" the doctor asked the man

"I'm her husband" Edward replied "what happened?" he asked the doctor and he told him everything that he had told me. Edward started to kiss my forehead as the doctor went on.

"Oh Bella" he said as we started to walk again.

I started to think back on my child hood, the Sunday baking and going to church. Waking me up and god knows what time to talk. Playing with our dog at the park with dad. Dad's funeral. The hard times we hard and the good. Her being at the birth of my children. Not knowing if she'd be at this one's. 80's movies that dad hated but secretly loved. Picture time. Boy talk that whole thing came down on me at once. I was going to lose my mother. My best friend. My everything. And that was hard

We walked into her room to see her flirting with the nurse. No matter what or when she is doing something she is always free and that is what I love about her.

"Ahhh my children, are you back together?" she asked with a smile on her lips, the doctor and the nurse left us to be alone. Edward let out a chuckle. This was always a joke to them. Not to me.

"No can't say we are "he replied and Renee gave me stern look, and I gave a weak smile and gave her a hug and started to cry

"Awe no tears baby, it's just my time to go" she smiled at me and but her hand on my ever extending belly which he gave a massive kick.

"Yes that's right baby, I love you too" she said to him and gave my belly a kiss.

"So how have you been Renee?" Edward started as he sat on the chain and pulled me onto him.

"Well I could say I've been better but did you just see that nurse damn he is hot" she laughed.

"You know, I still can't believe you can get knocked up but yet not get back together" she laughed again as my mouth slacked off.

"Yes well..." he broke off his train of thought and smiled at me.

"You know kids the last thing I would like before I die, is for you too to see past this charade you are playing and get back together"

Before either of us could say anything the door opened.

"Ah, I thought I could hear that loud boom of yours Renee" Carlisle said and went over to hug her

"How are you anyway darling?" he asked

"Well, I can tell you this. You have some hot staff" she said and laughed I just groaned into Edwards shoulder.

Even when she's on her death bed she is still laughing. Hopefully she will be laughing till the end. Oh let's face it she will be.

**Waking up to another dark morning  
People are mourning  
The weather in life outside is storming  
But what would it take for the clouds to break  
For us to realize each day is a gift somehow, someway?  
So get our heads up out of the darkness  
And spark this new mindset and start to live life cuz it ain't gone yet  
And tragedy is a reminder to take off the blinders  
And wake up and live the life we're supposed to take up  
Moving forward with all our heads up cuz life is worth living**

We live we love  
We forgive and never give up  
Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above  
And today we remember to live and to love


	4. Feels Like Home

**Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself  
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms  
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast  
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life**

If you knew how lonely my life has been  
And how long I've been so alone  
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along  
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from  
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

**CHANTAL KREVIAZUK- Feels Like Home**

Hey guys, this chapter reminds me of 'My Sister's Keeper' so when you get to the right part listen to this Song! that movie made me cry so bad i still had red eyes the next day.

* * *

I let my lungs fill with the air that they needed. I wouldn't allow myself to open my eyes and re-appear into the reality that was my mother's hospital room. I will stay in my world for as long as I needed, I couldn't face the death that was about to happen. I let her slip through my fingers again my mother only had so many days left until it was her time up. I may be able to fade away from the truth for a while at a time but the pain was still there. My heart breaking away day by day.

I had leaned on Edward a lot over those few days and I loved him for it, I looked back on all the wonderful times we had together, I needed him then and I need him now. I need to win him back.

Alice took me away from the hospital one morning. It hurt to leave my mother when I knew she only had so many days left but my mother had other ideas for me to do then to sit and wait. Alice and Edward had been great over the course of these few days; they both looked after me and the kids but Alice had been fantastic over the last couple of years. Not once did she ask about why I broke up with Edward or even told me that I made a massive mistake which I already know I did.

"Hunny, we need to talk" she started as we sat down at the local café with the millions of bags from different stores at our legs. I bit my lip as she started.

"I know you; I know that your heart is breaking every minute of every day." I started to shake my head

"No Alice, I'm not having this discussion" I started to get up but she held me down.

"Yes we are, I see you broken, I see Edward broken but no one knows why. Not even him, please Bella I'm begging you, tell me. I promise I won't tell him. I just need to know" she begged me; I saw the tears well up in her eyes threatening to fall with every word she spoke. I just realised that it wasn't just me that was hurt, no it was everyone.

"I…I… Alice this is hard, I was wrong to leave Edward it wasn't even him, I just jumped to conclusions… I…I…I" I broke down crying, I couldn't admit to the pain that I caused, the heart ache would still be there even if I did let everything go. But they all deserved to know especially Alice.

"Bella look at you. It's pulling you down, just let it all go. No one will judge you, we all love you. Edward loves you"

Alice pulled me into a hug. I cried on her shoulder letting all the frustration out, the pain, the heart aches, the self pity I let it all go and breathed one last breath and started to talk.

"Ok, so it happened two years ago. It broke my heart just too see it….."

_Flashback _

_It was cold outside but I lived with it, winter was upon us and I'd just left the kids with Esme. Right now I could see Mayella helping her make a mess in the kitchen making cookies while in her highchair. When she gets older I can tell she'll be like me, ' It may be a mess but its and organised mess' is my saying and I just know she will live by that as well. _

_I was on my way to surprise my husband with a home cooked meal for lunch. He was always complaining that he missed me bringing him home cooked meals since I had Renessme. So I thought it was time to get back into a routine. _

_I waved and said hello to the familiar faces of the family business while I was walking to the elevator, god I missed working here. It was run by a family and it was a family. _

_I hit the button for the top floor, it stoped 4 times with people walking in asking how I and the kids are going before I got the top. I walked out and my smile dropped._

_Standing right in front of me was my replacement and Edward kissing on her desk, they didn't even notice me. He was right on top of her; I could only see his mop of reddish brown hair. My heart broke at the site. I dropped the container letting it hit the floor before I got back into the elevator, and yet they still didn't even notice._

_My heart plummeted and so did the elevator, the tears fell following the same trail, I kept my head down and let my hair fall down around my face making a wall from the outside world. _

_I quickened my pace as I walked out into the lobby and got into my car speeding off to get my kids and pack up my life._

_End of Flashback _

Alice's face was pure horror "I'm going to kill him" she started to get up.

"No Alice that's not all" I pulled her back down

"There's more?" she asked with surprise I nodded my head

"The same night that I left him I went to go get the kids something to eat, as I walked In I saw them together and again his head again wasn't facing me .My heart was pouring out with anger so I and walked over to him to give him a piece of my mind"

_Flashback_

_I walked over to them as I was about to yell at the top of my lugs she started to talk._

"_Oh Bella how are you?" I smiled at her and then he turned around and my heart stopped, it wasn't him but it was the same man from the office. I just made the biggest mistake of my life._

"_Oh I'm good thanks but umm where you two going at it in the office at lunch" I asked with a raised eye brow._

_Their faces went beetroot red, I somehow laughed them and smiled but my heart broke even more._

"_It's aright I won't tell Edward" she smiled again._

_End of Flashback _

"I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving Edward; I was too ashamed to go back to him. He deserved better then a wife who accuses him of thing I know he would never do" I sob out the rest of my story to Alice who was also crying her eyes out.

"Oh Bella "she started but couldn't get the rest out because she was sobbing to hard

"No Alice, I need your help. I need him back" she nodded her head and smiled. I placed my hand on my ever growing stomach and smiled he kicked fast and hard, I guess my boy wants him back as well.

"I'll help you we'll start as soon as possible" she said, and that's when it started to. My plan to get Edward back.

I walked back to my mum's room hearing my kids laugh as well as her; Edward was outside sitting down on the ground with his head in his head. I smiled he didn't notice my so I placed my hands on top of his. I startled him, he quickly looked up and saw me and smiled back.

He held onto my hands as I help him up not letting go after.

"My boy must be giving you his strength" he joked I smiled at him as we began to get closer.

"NAN!!!!!" we heard Mayella scream. We both crashed into the room to see my mum tickle Mayella as screams and giggles left the mouths of my babies.

I smiled and looked on, Edwards fingers twined with my own as we watched on.

"Mummy" Renessme screamed at me with a wide smile. I picked her up and kissed her a million times loving the sounds that she was making. Mummies little miracle!

"Hello baby! " I kissed Mayella on the lips and then my mum on the fore head.

"How was shopping?" Mum asked me as I sat down in the seat and Edward sat on the edge of the bed.

"Good, a lot came out of it. I feel freer." The only other person who knows about what I told Alice is my mum. She smiled at me and I nodded my head. And her smile widened

"Good, you deserve this" I wiped away the tear that fell.

"Come on girlies will come back in a sec okay!" Edward grabbed the girls and kissed mum goodbye. **( Listen To The Song! ) **

"I love you Edward, you're the son I never had" he smiled at her

"I love you too Renee" she kissed the girls goodbye, they were crying as they left the room.

They knew what she was doing; I knew what she was going to do. She was saying goodbye.

"Baby, I love you" she started and her tears fell and so did mine "it's ok to cry when I'm gone okay; its okay to let people in as well. I'm ready to go baby it will be okay! "I cried so hard I was finding it hard to breath. Her hold on my was loose but was tight for her, she didn't have much strength left.

"Baby keep fighting for him, he loves you. I know he does, you need each other. I'll be watching over you with daddy, he loves you and so do I" we both cried for a while I nodded she smiled at me as her grip began to slip, I knew it was time.

"I love you Isabella, please let me go" I cried more

"I love you too mum its okay" she nodded her head her heart began to fade out.

"Win him back" she whispered to me and then one long beep was all that was left. I fell to the floor as people began to rush in and turn everything off, Edward crashed into the room. I looked up at him and he pulled me into him as we looked at her while she peaceful began her travels up to dad. I smiled because I knew she was happy to see him again.

Edward never let me go and I felt his tears fall into my shoulder. I turned to face him. His lips were so close to mine, I just went for the kill.

I kissed him with everything I had left, I put all my hope desire and love into that kiss hopefully he felt it. I pulled back and smiled st him. I looked around but didn't see the kids anywhere, I felt panic rise from my stomach

"There with Alice" and I calmed down back into his arms.

A few minutes later his phone went off, I started to get off him but he kept me where I was. He started to talk to the person on the other line and then he started to get up, I got up fast and he walked out into the hallway.

He came back in and looked at me

"I have to go Isabella, would you like me to take the kids?" he asked me and I shook my head.

"Nah, I need to go home any way" he smiled at me and kissed me on the fore head.

I guess he didn't feel it.

* * *

** A window breaks, down a long, dark street  
And a siren wails in the night  
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me  
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light**

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me  
And how long I've waited for your touch  
And if you knew how happy you are making me  
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from  
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong  
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

* * *


	5. Wat'cha Say?

**I was so wrong for so long  
Only tryna please myself (myself)  
Girl, I was caught up in her lust  
When I don't really want no one else  
So, no I know I should've treated you better  
But me and you were meant to last forever.**

Jason DeRulo  
Watcha Say lyrics

Sorry that it's late. I've been doing some other stories. Please if you like Edward and mutliply women other then bella please read Adjoining Bathroom.

* * *

It's amazing how Alice can just believe that, that was the only part of the story so easily. Yes it was a little bit of the decision when I decided to first leave but it wasn't at all why I left all together. Alice, she's my best friend, known me for ages but can't seem to see when I'm lying? She's meant to know me the best. I couldn't re-live it again. No the pain and hurt bubbling to the surface again was not aloud. I would not let myself cry over my mistake again.

I let my pain and suffering make my mind up for me. I let him slip through my fingers as I walked away from him. I shouldn't of believed her when she turned up at my door, no I should of just shut the door in her face but no I listened to her, I let the information slip through my brain tearing my heart all while making the path of destruction through my family. I cried in front of her. Stupid movement.

Edward was late once again to his own mother's diner. I could see the hurt through her eyes, they use to be bright and playful but when the divorce was finale it faded away, she even stoped trying to put our broken pieces back together but they didn't fit anymore.

"So Bella about to pop I see" I turn away from chopping up the salad to see Emmet with a smile across his face and his arm's wide open.

"Emmet" I squeal as I jump into his bear hug. We twirl around and I see Rosalie, ahhh my perfect pregnant girlfriend. Of course the women had mood swings and I mean bad mood swings but what are pregnant women to do when they're bored? Play with their husbands and blame it on the pregnancy!

"Hey Hunny" she whispers into my ears as we try to hug but our expanding stomachs hold us back.

"Gosh you've grown" I said while rubbing her stomach

"How come when I say it you hit me and yell at me but when she says it you swoon" Emmet's booming voice startled us, we both turned around and smirked at him, oh if he only knew how women worked. He then huffed and walked out. Rosie and I just looked at each other and then laughed.

"Oh, I love you Bella!" she kissed me on the check and walked out to find her husband

"DADDY!" I heard my girl from the other room yell. I looked over to esme to find her smiling and looking at me. I smiled back and finished cutting the up the salad ingredients when Edwards walked in with my babies in each of his arms. They looked so happy.

"Soon Edward you won't have any arms left" esme greeted him with a kiss on the check and a hug which was hard because they girl wouldn't let go. He laughed and walked over to me with his mouth wide open just like the girls.

I shook my head and they all made noised of want with the mouths open, I laughed and popped one tomato cherry into their mouths each. They hummed with want when they fished the cherry wanting some more.

"No more wait until tea!" I replied, my babies are like their father in so many ways and he hurts to see it sometimes.

"Oh mum" Edward started still looking at the tomato's and then placing the kids on the floor so they could go play with their toys "I have someone with me tonight! Umm, she's in the lounge room" the knife slipped from my hands and I cut my self and then we heard a glass shatter across the room. Blood was everywhere, esme was picking up glass while I was holding a piece if cloth to my hand.

"Mum stop" Edward was looking back and forth between the both of us. He inspected my cut first but it was only minor, he the lent over at esme and saw nothing wrong with her hands.

"Edward are you okay I heard a glass smash" we all turned to the person in the door way

"NO" I shouted at Edward, he looked at me with a look of hurt.

"Bella"

"NO, Edward I told you so" I started to walk towards the door to collect my kids.

"They're my kids as well you know" I kept walking; she is not aloud around my kids. I walked past her but stoped and looked at her.

"When did you knock her up?" I asked as the tears started to fall, Esme gasped from the far corner.

"How did you know?" he asked with disbelief, I gave him a knowing look/

"I've been pregnant 4 times remember!" he and I both looked down, remembering our first child from college, Sophie didn't make it. She died 2 weeks after her birth. She was too small.

"I'm so sorry" we all turned and looked at Tanya. "I know you miss her and..."

"NO you do not talk about her! Do you understand!" I scream in her face and walk out. My kids are in shock and start to cry, they have never heard Edward and I scream before. It breaks my heart even more to see that I'm not only hurting myself but my whole family as well.

I look around the room; wedding pictures hang from walls, happy faces in all. My eyes linger on mine and Edwards for a few moments more. It takes me back to the happier years of our lives. I was in love with him, I am still am but now I guess I will just have to move on.

I wipe away the few stray tears that fall down my face. I can't hide it anymore. My heart lies with him he knows too. But unlike me has moved on. It's my fault were all like this, if I didn't listen to her I would still be with him, Tanya wouldn't be pregnant with his child, my baby boy would have his father whenever he wants.

I collect the kids and walk to the door, no w=one stops me and that's fine. I look back once more to see my ex family, hearts broken and lying on the floor. I can't hurt them anymore. No. I'm not a Cullen anymore, Tanya has taken my place. She'll be better at it then I was.

Two days had past with multiply phone calls from Alice, Esme, Jasper and Rosalie begging me to come back, asking me to tell Edward. Jasper even apologized for Edward and Tanya but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to think about it today. No today was about my mother. Today I was going to lay my mum next to my father.

"And now we Ms. Swan would like to say a few things" I look noticing people looking at me. Their eyes filled with sadness, tears and pain. Except for Tanya. Wait Tanya? Why is she here? My heart breaks no, she shouldn't be here. I stand and make my way towards her Grave.

"Its times like these mum that I will miss you. 3 years ago we were both here placing dad in the ground, I held onto you and Edward for so long. Even though it was raining and cold and you lost your husband you were strong for me, sitting right in this very spot. But three years on, you're not here to hold me through it and that's okay because I know that even though you have passed you will fight and protect me from all."

I breathe in and let the sadness take over, my eyes fill with the tears that I haven't seen for days. I brake and the thought of no one there to catch me brakes me more. I fall to the ground but not once hitting it. My eyes close as I fold into the arms of Edward.

"I'm here for you, don't think your alone" he whispers into my ear. I turn my body into his so I'm protected from the hurt and pain I see from others; I somehow find the strength to finish my speech in his arms.

"The day you passed you asked me to do something. 'Your last dying wish 'as you simply put it. I find it hard to say these words but mum I don't think I can do it, I can't erase the past that I made for my family. I lost him mum." Edwards arm's squeeze me.

"Never" he whispers

"I'm sorry… I place this box filled with pictures of birthdays, weddings, births, Anniversary's Easters, Christmas's and many more. Also I pass you the paintings of mine from when I was younger and you grandchildren's as well. Dad and you need them more then myself. They belong to your hearts. I know that you love me and I you, I always will. My heart is yours. Love and treasure it" I look into Edwards eyes "because mum you're the only one I can trust it with" His arms loosen with every word. I let him go, move on Edward love someone who can trust you and not break you.

I step away from him a place 3 roses into the grave.

"But today I walk away from your body but your mind, soul and heart will follow me until I follow your foot steps towards you and dad. Mum, I'll let you finish your trip towards him now, remember women to live, laugh and love." My eyes close and I feel free, she's with him now looking down on us hopefully smiling like usual.

I'm pulled back into Edward's arms, his mouth right next to my ear. I feel his tears hit my shoulder and his quivering breaths against my ear. "I love you Bella, just don't forget it"

That was all it took for me to fall, to lose it all. My mind filled with pictures, memories everything at once. I couldn't hear the screams as I fell to the ground. I couldn't see the tears as my eyes went black. The pain was there from the loss of everything. I couldn't take it my chest felt like it was on fire my lungs trying there hardest to get the air that they needed but they couldn't. I fell; I fell hard into the UN-known. I needed them right now as my contraction's started up. He was on his way into the world.

* * *

**How, could I live with myself  
Knowing that I let our love go (love go)  
And ooh, when I do with one chance  
I just gotta let you know  
I know what I did wasn't clever  
But me and you were meant to be together**

[Hook]  
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)  
To really be your man  
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out  
I just didn't know what to do  
But when I become a star we'll be living so large  
I'll do anything for you  
So tell me girl


	6. Art Of Love E Pov

**Hey Guy's sorry that it took so long and it basically is only Edwards Point of view of what has appened. next chapter will be i have no clue.**

**most likely soon! hope you xmas was amazing!!!!! **

**Art Of Love Lyrics**

I'm saying sorry in advance cos this won't always go to plan  
Though we don't mean to take our love for granted  
It's in our nature to forget what matters  
How when the going is getting tough  
And we're all about giving up  
Things that we never thought we'd gonna say, gonna say them  
Things that we never thought we'd play, gonna play them  
It ain't perfect, but it's worth it  
And it's always getting better  
It's gonna take some time to get it right

Cause I'm still learning the art of love  
I'm still trying to not mess up  
So whenever I stumble let me know  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out for me  
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

Art Of Love- Guy Sebastian // Jordin Sparks

* * *

E P.O.V

Doctors were running into the room, a long beep was heard. I knew it was time; I left Alice with the kids and ran to Bella. She was sitting on the ground tears streaming down her face, the last nurse left after she pulled the plug I said thankyou and dragged Bella onto my lap as we watched Renee die.

I kept my arms around Bella, she needed me. I tried to stop the tears but I couldn't she was my mother as well.

I felt Bella shift as she turned; her lips were so close to mine. My eyes moving back and forth from her eyes to her lips. I needed my wife I needed my life back and apparently so did she. I kissed her with all the love I had left for her, I thought I could hold onto the thought that maybe one day we could be a family again but my heart couldn't take it any longer. All these games, they were killing me from the inside out.

She pulled back and smiled. I had to at least try for her. She was pinning for her mother who was dead right next to us. She began to frantically look for the kids I would suppose. Her eyes beginning to water.

"There with Alice" and she began to calm down into my arms again.

We stayed like that for a few moments pretending that we were fine until my phone went off. Bella began to get off my lap but I held her still, I still needed her even if I was about to move on.

"Hello?" I asked waiting for the reply from the person on the other end.

"Edward it's Tanya" my smile left my face, Tanya had been sick for 3 weeks now and she finally went to the hospital today. I began to get up, pushing Bella off my lap in the process and walked out the door.

"What's wrong?" Panic began to arise in me.

"Well, they did a few tests… and then… well I'm…ah… pregnant" my face paled. Another baby to another woman. The only thing I could think of was that Bella and I were definitely not getting back together after this.

"Umm…. Oh… do you need me?" I asked pleading in my head she said no

"Yes… we need to discuss some things" I let out a breath.

"Ok I'll be there in a minute" we said our goodbyes and hung up. Those simple words threw my world out, my dreams down the drain. But I could handle it, I'm Edward Cullen I have too.

After going over everything with Tanya I began to think about Bella and my family. She didn't want me, I gave her time. She had two years to take me back but she didn't and I had to move on.

Once again I'm late for mum's family dinner. Only this time it wasn't my fault. Tanya had to be perfect for my family; she wants to be welcomed with open arms. The problem is that I know and she could also possible know that that she won't be. The place that she is trying to fill already has an owner. And no one wants her to leave not even me.

We finally set off to my mother's house. I look to my right; Tanya was smoothing every part of her clothing. She was rubbing her belly which I'm sorry to say is my mistake. Bella and I were finally getting better but then I got the phone call.

Bella had finally let me in; I know what we were both about to tell each other that day in my office. It was all I needed to hear for me to take her back… I didn't need an explanation at that point in my life, no I just needed her and I still do.

_No_, now my life has Tanya in it until this baby of ours grows to be 18 years of age and moves out then I won't have to pretend to ' love' his mother anymore. Of course if Bella and I got back together I wouldn't even pretend to love her. This baby of Tanya's had already stolen my heart. It's mine and I can't help, I'm not a father who abandons his kids. No I'm going to be there for all of my children.

I only love Bella.

We finally made it to mum's. I help Tanya out of the car, I try and let go of her hand but she holds on for life. _She needs help through this Edwards too_. My conscience tells me. I hold on to. Our eyes meet and we smile at each other. We slowly make it up the 3 steps and stop at the door.

"I'm ready" Tanya tells me.

She maybe but I'm definitely not. She squeezes my hand and opens the door. We walk in hand in hand and see Emmett come thought the kitchen door with a pout. I smirk at him knowing exactly he is going through. He glares at me; he opens his mouth to say something back.

"DADDDYYYY" I hear my girls scream, I look at Emmett who know has Rose in his arms. I feel two little people wrap around my legs. I look down and there they are. My girls, my babies. My Real Family.

I bend down to their level and they jump into my arms giggling as I make and ogre sound as I'm getting up. I kiss both of them on the forehead and walk into the kitchen leaving Tanya behind.

I walk in and can't seem to keep the smile off my face as I see some of the most important women in my life.

Mum started to walk over to me with her warm smile "Soon Edward you won't have any arms left" she kissed me on the cheek, she tried to hug me but the girls (who won't let go of me) were in the way. We look at each other and start to laugh.

I walk over to Bella and open my mouth; Mayella and Renessme look at me then at each other than to Bella and also open their mouths. I kind of smirk because my girls do whatever I do and that frustrate Bella a little. I wait for the tomatoes. Bella laughed and popped one into each of our mouths. I want more of them so I open my mouth again for some more.

"No more wait until tea!" Bella tells me and the girls.

"Oh mum" I keep looking at the food in front of me but I remember Tanya in the next room. I put the girls down and the set off to the lounge room.

"I have someone with me tonight! Umm, she's in the lounge room" I heard Bella gasp and the knife hit the ground. I looked at her and saw I deep cut across her hand. A glass shattering could be heard next , my head wiped around and saw my mother trying to pick up the glass.

"Mum stop" mum stop, I was looking in between them both trying to decide who needed help. I look at Bella first deciding it only kneed a band aid after I ran it under water. Next I help mum pick up the glass and saw no scratches on her hand thankfully.

"Edward are you okay I heard a glass smash" we all turned to the person in the door way

"NO" I look at Bella, I knew she didn't like Tanya but that went too far.

"Bella" I try but she cuts me off

"No, Edward I told you I didn't want her around my kids" that gets me mad, how dare she tell me who I can have around my children? Bella started to get the kids to go

"They're my kids as well you know" she only stops when she looks down at Tanya's stomach

"When did you knock her up?" she asks me as the tears fall down her face. Mum gasp from the corner.

"How did you know?" I asked in astonishment

"I've been pregnant 4 times remember!" we both looked down, remembering our first child from college, Sophie didn't make it. She died 2 weeks after her birth. She was too small. It killed me knowing that failed. She was my baby girl and was taken away from us to soon

"I'm so sorry" we all turned and looked at Tanya. "I know you miss her and..." bad mistake Tanya.

"NO you do not talk about her! Do you understand?"Bella screams in her face and walks out. I follw her and see the kids crying. Bella and I made a pact never to fight around the kids. They didn't need to know about or troubles.

Bella stoped at the door, she looked back her eyes lingering back on us for a few moments. I catch her eyes and then she closed the door. I closed my eyes as the last part of my heart went with her. No more pain, just numb, I'm just numb.

My eyes open when Tanya grabs onto my hand the first thing I see in my sister's broken face. "Aren't you going after her?" she asks me but I don't answer her. Bella had finally left me and it didn't feel right. I didn't feel right

"She's having your child for Christ sake" she screams at me. Tanya gasps

"And he's having me as well"

"Yeah well, no one cares about you. You are a mistake. Just leave. Look at what you do. I know what you did" peoples' voices became just noise. Nothing got in. I let some tears fall. I feel my dad's hand on my back rubbing my shoulders.

I didn't matter what people did know. I didn't care about Tanya. I didn't even care about my self. I needed my family back.

Two days had past and now it was time to put Renee in the ground.

"And now Ms. Swan would like to say a few things" we all look at Bella. Her face blotchy and red. She lets go of Alice's hand and walks over to the grave. Tanya squeezes my hand. I knew she shouldn't be here it doesn't feel right.

"Its times like these mum that I will miss you. 3 years ago we were both here placing dad in the ground, I held onto you and Edward for so long. Even though it was raining and cold and you lost your husband you were strong for me, sitting right in this very spot. But three years on, you're not here to hold me through it and that's okay because I know that even though you have passed you will fight and protect me from all."

I look at her and my tears start to fall. She still has me. Lean on me. Take me back.

She shakes and I know what about to happen. I quickly shake off Tanya and get up and hold on to Bella. She still smella the same. This feels right. I need her back and I am going to as well. She snuggles into my chest to hind away from the faces that are now staring at her.

"I'm here for you, don't think your alone "I whispers into her ear.

"The day you passed you asked me to do something. 'Your last dying wish 'as you simply put it. I find it hard to say these words but mum I don't think I can do it, I can't erase the past that I made for my family. I lost him mum." My arm's squeeze her.

" never" I say, no I'm always here for you.

"I'm sorry… I place this box filled with pictures of birthdays, weddings, births, Anniversary's Easters, Christmas's and many more. Also I pass you the paintings of mine from when I was younger and you grandchildren's as well. Dad and you need them more then myself. They belong to your hearts. I know that you love me and I you, I always will. My heart is yours. Love and treasure it" She looks at me with hurt across her face "because mum you're the only one I can trust it with" I let my arms free her. She doesn't want me. _Move on Bella. I won't break you anymore._

"But today I walk away from your body but your mind, soul and heart will follow me until I follow your foot steps towards you and dad. Mum, I'll let you finish your trip towards him now, remember women to live, laugh and love."

I pull her back into my arms because no, I can't let her go. No I won't let her go. She's mine.

"I love you Bella just remember that" I tell her. Alice gasps and mum smiles. Tanya has a scowl across her face. But I don't care because Bella was all that I needed.

Bella's eyes went black, she went limp in my arms.

"Bella" I scream at her, mum and Alice come to me I lay her on the ground and squeeze her hand. Bella began to hold my hand as tight as she could. I knew that feeling. She began to breath deep as well. She let out a grown and I knew what was coming. His was from Renee. My baby boy was coming.

"Someone call the hospital and tell them were coming" Alice screams out. Dad is already in the car and waiting for us to hope in.

"It's alright Bella, I have you" I pick her up with Emmett's help and we put her in the car. Mum jumps in and points to Tanya who's behind me looking angry.

I walk over to her and give her the keys to the car.

"I have to go Tanya"

"Well what about me?"

"Go home; I need to be with my wife and my family. My sons about to be born." I start to walk off

"What about our son?" I turn to her

"I know that you were at least fucking 2 other of my friends when you were with me, go tell them the great news and fuck their lives up. I'm about to get mine back"

I run to the car and me and jasper speed down the highway to the hospital.

This was it. My family was going to be whole again. That is if Bella lets me back in.

* * *

If I forget to get the door  
Remind you that you're beautiful  
I know my detail requires more attention  
If I ever hurt you it's not my intention  
Cause we're gonna make our mistakes  
Find out how much your heart can take  
But I know that you got my back  
And baby I got yours

Cause I'm still learning the art of love  
I'm still trying to not mess up  
So whenever I stumble let me know  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it outYou need to spell it out for me  
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

Sometimes I'm gonna miss  
I'm still learning how to give  
I'm not giving up  
I'm still learning how to love  
Learning how to love…  
Learning how to love

Cause I'm still learning the art of love  
I'm still trying to not mess up  
So whenever I stumble let me know  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out  
You need to spell it out for me  
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love  
(The art of love)

Still learning (art of love)  
Still learning (art of love)  
Still learning (art of love)  
Still trying to learn the art of love  
Still learning, I'm still learning (art of love)  
Still learning (art of love)  
I'm gonna get it sometimes, cause I'm still learning  
Still learning (art of love)  
Still learning (art of love)  
Still learning (art of love)  
The art art of love


	7. When I Look At You

_Everybody needs inspiration,  
Everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
When the nights so long_

Cause there is no guarantee  
That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you

When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you

**When I look At You I see forgiveness  
I see the truth  
You love me for who I am  
**Like the stars Hold the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you  
**Miley Cyrus - When I Look At You**

Hey everybody! i really hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please remember that what Bella told Alice, that isn't the reason behind Bella's Leaving Edward. That is to come. xxxxx

I really enjoy reading your reviews! Please tell everyone one about this story! xxx

* * *

The pain is killing me, Renee this is your entire fault.

My eyes open and my head is in between Esme's legs, pain shot through my stomach through to my back. In that point in time it didn't matter. My hands shot to my baby knowing what was happening. He was on his way.

"It's okay Bella where almost there" Esme comforted me.

It didn't matter she wasn't Edward. The one I wanted and needed.

My breaths came deeper as I felt a gush of water come out of me. We were close but not close enough.

"Eww" I heard Emmett in the back seat. I blocked the rest out. They say babies don't care what time it is they just come. Yeah mines coming 2 weeks earlier. Dad and mum must have known he was ready to come into the world.

The pain of child birth is like walking through fire. Constant pain until the finally run. The push, that last push it's hard, you hit the wall a long time ago and you can't pass until the finally push. The fucking last push, all because we don't use protection. Edward fucking Cullen. Next time I see him I'm going to shoot him _down._

"HURRY THE FUCK UP... I'M IN PAIN" I scream at Carlisle. His arms flinch forward, I feel sorry for him but then the baby kicks my gut.

Someone's phone rings in the back.

"It's Edward" Emmett bellows out.

"Hello..."

"AHHHHHHHHH" I cut him off when another contraction ripples through my body. "Hurry up Carlisle, can't you go any faster. Sorry if you haven't noticed but I am going into labour. God why is ever Cullen male a douche?" Esme and Alice laugh. Esme rubs a figure 8 around my eyes. She does this to every one of us girls in pain and it seems to work.

"Calm down fucker... no... Fuck she's fine... god calm down... no I don't think she wants to talk to you... well because she's right now in pain... god do you ever . Shut. The. Fuck. Up? Oh fine ... Bella if you want to say..."

"OH FUCK OFF EMMETT! Oh and you Edward Cullen, you are never, ever having sex with me again oh and make that every other women again. You've put me through this four times. YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOUR MINE!!!!!" I hear Alice squeal in the back ground and the car stop.

Someone opened the door and at this moment in time I really couldn't care. Hands grabbed mine and helped me up. There he was. The one I wanted all this time. My tears falling down my face. Pain shooting through me, my dress completely soaked.

"Baby" he opened his arms, I started to sob as I fell into his arms

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have listened to her. No please take me back, please say yes... please" he held on to me so tight I thought he would squeeze him out

"Fuck, god help please it hurts" Edward quickly let me go "god he's coming like right now".

The nurse was behind Edward waiting for me with the wheelchair. The boys quickly help me into it and we rushed to the front desk which they shot me to the nearest room.

"Fuck hurry up it's coming now, I can feel it" my midwife rushed into the room.

"Bella, how are we doing? Hmm, best get this kid out shall we? Hmm is that Edward I see?" Edward walks over to Kate and hugs her.

"Kate I've missed you" my god this is not a time for a reunion.

"HE'S COMING!!!!" I screamed out to them and the quickly fell into the sink that were all use to.

Kate checked me out and saw that my baby boy was fine and I was 9 centimetres dilated, I was close and by the time they got all set up and ready for me I would be ready. This would have to be the fastest delivery that I would have had. Sophie was 4 Hours, Mayella 10 long hours and Renesme 15. I like this baby. He's fast which means less pain. Hopefully

"Okay Bella this is it, baby Cullen wants to come out, so you have to push at the next contraction" Kate was now putting my feet into the stirrups at the end of the bed. Right at this moment I just wanted this child out.

"Argggggg" I quickly breathed out because the next contraction was coming. My hands were flying everywhere trying to find Edward's

"Fucking hell Edward grab my hand" his quickly found mine. The baby was about to come out but then I remembered something.

'okay Bella you need to push, and then the shoulders will be out" I shook my head.

"Come on Bella you can do it" Edward tried to help me along.

"no, I am not pushing until you say you want me back, until you say you still love me" my hands grabbed his face and brought it millimetres away from mine.

"The way I still love you!" I breathed out and he breathed in. I felt good just to say it. His hands grabbed mine and pulled them down from his face. He didn't say anything. I started to cry, not because right now my child was trying to push itself out of my vagina because I just lost Edward.

I turned away from him and looked at Kate. I felt Edward next to me. Breathing against my ear.

"I still love you baby, I'm yours" he whispered into my ear. I pushed once he had finished talking, it was painful and I had to keep pushing so his shoulders were out.

"That's it Bella, keep going "I leant forward and pushed harder. Kate started to pull and it felt like everything came out of me at one. The feeling of being light, being free. Nurses started to rush around, I didn't understand. I couldn't hear my baby scream. Kate has told me before, that doesn't always happen but this, this didn't feel right. I grabbed on to Edward and he onto me.

"Hang on guys; he's rapped himself around his umbilical cord. We just need to cut it." Edward looked over when she cut it. But still no cries. Kate quickly sent him off to the awaiting nurses. They started to put things into his mouth. I looked at Kate asking why with me eyes.

"Sometimes Bella the baby's airways get some parts of the placenta in them making it hard to breathe then in return wail."

But it still didn't calm me down. All my babies are wailers why not this one. My first boy could die.

"Baby he won't die" Edward reasurged me but how did he know?

"Bella I think you saying what you're thinking. He won't die"

After a few squeezes from the thing in his mouth. He started to scream. I let the breath that I was holding out.

"Give him to me please" I held my hand outs waiting for my baby boy. I started to squirm when they were taking their time. "I said give him to me" Edward started to laugh but soon stoped when I glared at him.

The nurses wrapped him up and I was getting angry. They soon brought him over to me and the troubles left me because now I was whole. My baby was in my arms.

"He has blue eyes" Edward pointed out.

"Well I can assure that I didn't sleep around... I'm not Tanya" I pointed out.

How dare he insinuate that I had slept with another man, and even if I had we weren't together. Fury ripped through me as he started to pace.

"I didn't insinuate that Bella I was just pointing out." Edward hand swiped across my check.

"Um, babies' eyes are blue when their born, they'll change over time. I thought I told you that last time?" Kate nudged Edward.

The tears in my eyes had finally found the way down my face. My baby is finally in my arms; Edward well is ... god I don't know. It'd hard. My life is hard. I don't even know if where back together. I need him.

"Alright it's time to get this baby to our nursery and for you to deliver the placenta" Kate then took the baby out of my hands and Edward left with him.

My eyes flutter open and I see a bright white room. I close my eyes again fast and I hear someone turn the lights off and open the blinds.

"There you go love" I open my eyes and see Edward in front of me. And I start to cry again. I curl up into a ball and I feel him crawl in next to me. I latched onto him and kept crying. He shouldn't take me back; I shouldn't have left him those years ago.

"Baby, tell me what's wrong" he gently moved my face to see his.

I was too ashamed to talk. All the pain in the past two years, it was all my fault. I couldn't breathe. Edward kept brushing my tears away. His eyes help love. I didn't deserve love. I deserved hate, him not coming back to me.

"I don't deserve you." I stated and started to crawl out of his hold.

"Hey, hey, hey. What are you talking about?"

"I left you and...And...And... Oh god I took your children away. I took everything away that you loved from you. I'm stupid. You shouldn't want me. No... No... No you don't belong to me anymore. No your Tanya's. God I've lost everything." I rubbed my face into his shirt. Trying to wipe away tears and snot.

"Thanks by the way.... now I don't belong to Tanya. I belong to myself and I decide who I want. Yes you did leave me and I'm not sure why but all I want is my family back, that includes you Bella. I love you. I need you, you are my life now and always will be." I hugged him back hard.

"I...I...I love you to-o" we both feel asleep. Together. Finally in each other's arms.

* * *

_When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you_

You appear just like a dream to me  
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that  
Cover Me, **All I need every  
Breath that I breathe don't you know  
You're beautiful...  
**  
Yea Yea Yea

When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you  
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream  
To me.


	8. I Don't Wanna Wait

I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait for you  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait for you

Cause I need you  
Can't you see that I need you?  
Cause I need you (I need you)  
Can't you see that I need you? (I need you)

Baby it's you I want,  
So stop wasting my time  
And baby it's you I need,  
So please make up your mind  
It's time to choose

**"I Don't Wanna Wait"  
The Veronicas**

**I'd just like to thank all those who R&R it means the world to me when I look at my emails and there's reviews from you all .... Thanks for all the support.**

**And remember I don't own any _Twilight_ characters.... Steph thats all your's baby you lucky biatch! = ))**

* * *

**"Everytime you stay (every time you stay)  
The world starts making sense to me  
And when you go away (when you go away)  
I wanna scream till you see..."**

I sit here and watch him sleep, his chest rising and falling. I smile, because I finally have him in my arms. He's mine and no one else's. I run my fingers through his hair. Short and soft. Renee I'm sorry that you weren't here to see this.

It's amazing that Edward and I created him. He's so amazing. My first boy, my little man. I love him so much.

"How's our little boy doing?" Edward rubbed his hand through his hair.

"Amazing" I looked up into Edwards eyes and smiled. I went in for the kill. I kissed him.

"Mmm and how are you?" he stroked my check.

"Much better" I gave him a shy smile and looked back down.

"You know now... now where going to have to re- marry, our divorce went through" I looked up at him. My eye' started to water.

"What?"

"Hey, it's ok... we'll figure it out" I wiped away the tears and smiled.

"You want to marry me?" I asked him and he laughed and kissed me.

"Offcourse I want to marry you. I didn't want to divorce you in the first place" I started to cry again.

"Hey it's alright" I smile at him.

"Miss Swan?" we both look at the door and my nurse is standing there. "Um we were just wondering if you had decided a name yet" I looked at Edward and I handed him the baby.

"Um, yes we've decided on Nicholas Alexander "Edward smiled at me.

"Swan?" the nurse asked me.

"Pardon?"

"Is Nicholas' last name swan?"

"No it's Cullen... Nicholas Alexander Cullen, Nick for short" I felt Edward behind me and he wrapped his arms around my waist and began to kiss my neck multiply of times.

The nurse Smiled and walked out to leave Edward and I alone. I turned in Edwards arms and sighed .I was finally home.

Someone cleared their throat breaking Edwards and my moment. Edward lent his forehead on mine and breathed out.

"God what do you.... Tanya?" Edward's arms dropped from their place around my waist.

"What are you doing here?" I looked at Tanya, she looked terrible. Bloodshot eyes, red as well. She had clearly been crying. Her hair was a mess. She had a shocked look on her face. Like she had seen a ghost. She was pale and looked like she hadn't slept in a while. I almost felt sorry for her... almost. That is until I remembered why I left Edward and what she had part in that decision. I glared at her and she did the same. Her plan had backfired. She didn't get him. No he was mine and always was.

"I...I...I.... umm, I came to see you. I, ah, I...I...I miss you Edward" Tanya started to cry, her hand rubbing her bump while she sobbed.

"Please leave" Edward kindly asked her.

"No, no she can't have you. Your mine" Tanya started to raise her voice and she took a few steps further into the room.

"Tanya, please stop. You will wake up Nick" Edward started to lead Tanya out the door.

"NO! I didn't do what I did for nothing. Your mine. She left you. You. Belong. To. Me." Tanya screamed in his face.

"Yeah because of you" I quickly covered my mouth. Hiding away from Edwards questioning eyes. I didn't want to tell him like this. I didn't want to 'dob' Tanya into Edward especially when he breaks up with her.

"You shut your fuckin' mouth you hear?" Tanya screamed at me.

" Leave. Now." Edward calmly walked Tanya to the door.

"I'm still carrying your child remember that." Tanya forced herself onto Edward and then quickly left before he could yell at her.

Edward closed the door behind her and breathed in. Finally letting all the baggage that Tanya had on him. He turned to me and quirked his right eye brow. I shifted my attention to at least try and get away from the conversation that we were about to have.

"Bella?" Edward asked

"Yes?"

He walked over to me. Questioning my every move. Making me quiver with need from him. He was a god. I smiled at him but he didn't by it. He kept walking towards me. This is it. I have to tell him if we want to start over again.

"Tell me" he begged me. "Bella, what were you both talking about?"

I bit my lip; I couldn't say this out loud. It's embarrassing.

"I shouldn't have listened to her. We wouldn't be going through this right now" I started to pace. Thinking about the day that, that bitch turned up on my door step.

"Bella!" Edward grabbed me, stopping me.

"Okay" I breathed out "Okay... right... Okay ... well" I was stalling.

"Bella! Just tell me"

"Okay, so you remember the day I left? ... Okay don't answer that you'll just make me feel worse. Okay so earlier that day Tanya came by to see me, I was just finishing putting Renesme to bed and I was tried." I breathed out "So the doorbell rand and I answered it, Tanya was there looking terrible. Her eyes were red and puffy make-up smudged and well I felt sorry for her. She asked if you were there which you weren't so she started rambling about how 'Sorry' she was. I didn't understand at all. She said stuff like 'I shouldn't be here' and 'I should tell Edward first' so I asked her what was the matter and she told me"

"She told me that you and her had sex one day in the office and she fell pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I heard Renesme start to cry and I got angry I told her to leave and started to pack all of our things and that's when you got home"

I looked at Edward and he looked angry.

"Didn't you start to notice when she didn't start to grow or have a baby?" he started to pace.

" well yes so I asked her what happened and she said that she lied and that I took you away from her in college and that she was going to get you back" I looked away.

"So I just walked away" I climbed back into bed and watched Edward pace.

"You just let her win? Just let her get me? Why didn't you fight? Christ if you only just told me." I started to cry.

"I was embarrassed, I didn't let her win. You did, you got together with her not me. I was going to tell you but then I saw you with her and I couldn't, you had moved on" I sobbed at then finding it hard to breath.

"God arg, why did you believe her fuck Bella all I asked was for you to believe me and trust me" I looked at him in shock.

"Well, I'm sorry but if someone came up to you and said hey you know one of your kids yeah it's mine we had sex one night. You'd believe them also lets also put in the fact that I JUST HAD A BABY! I believed everything I heard." I screamed at him, I was furious.

"You know what. Just go back to Tanya. I told you why I left and you just scream at me. Just leave Edward" and he did he left me alone with his new born son just to chase a fucking whore.

All I wanted to do is curl up into his arms.

Alice was happy to drive Nick and I home from the hospital the next day. Geese to take your own child home you had to sign a lot of papers. I looked down into the car seat. He looked just like Edward. Just another one of my children to grow up and Edwards not in the house.

"I screwed up Alice" the car jerked to a stop. I quickly turned around and looked at Nick, who was still asleep.

"Alice!" she pulled off to the side of the road and turned the car off. I looked around. And then back to her.

"What are you talking about Bella? You did not screw up." She rubbed her hands up and down my arms.

I told Alice the whole story well the REAL story of why Edward and I broke up and the whole scene of when I told Edward. Yeah and even Alice started to pace. You can tell those two were siblings and then she screamed. She told me that I was not in the wrong but Edward was. She said that even though he knew what Tanya did he still choose her and not me. We both had a cry fest.

"Well maybe if I didn't believe her and I trusted Edward..."

"No Bella, you can't blame yourself. You had post natal depression. I've heard women leave their husbands because they were paying for a check. It's a crazy that shit." I looked at her and laughed.

"Are you fucking serious? That's hilarious." We both had a good laugh.

"Alice who has the girls?" I knew not to worry their family would take care of them.

"Edward and don't worry he's taking care of them at the family house." I smiled knowing that they weren't with her.

( Live Like Were Dying – Kris Allen )

_**"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up  
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough  
How come we don't say I love you enough  
Till it's to late, it's not too late**_

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come  
We could make a feast from these crumbs  
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun  
So if your life flashed before you  
What would you wish you would've done"

"Hello?"  
"Bella? Where are you?"  
"What do you mean Edward?"  
"You're not at the hospital, I came to get you"  
"I'm with Alice. She came and got me... I have to go Edward"  
"wait... when will you be home?"  
"I don't know Edward... good bye" and I quickly hang up not waiting for his reply.

"Let's go home Alice." She nodded her head and we started driving again.

I love the drive to my house it's not home but its good enough. It had heaps of trees but mine and Edwards home had trees and cherry blossoms always and amazing drive. Edward doesn't really like it because he's always the one to get most of the petals on his car in the morning. I still loved this drive; we had a stream running at the very back of the house that the kids knew not to go through. It ran for miles and birds loved it.

"Were here!" Alice sung out. I smiled and un buckled my seat belt. Someone opened my car door and started to help me out. I looked up once I was in his arms. Edward.

* * *

I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
Say goodbye to you  
I don't wanna play  
I don't wanna play  
I don't wanna play  
I don't wanna play  
Play this game with you (this game with you, this game with you)

Cause I need you  
Can't you see that I need you? (I need you)  
Oh oh oh, I need you  
Can't you see that I need you? (I need you)

Baby it's you I want,  
So stop wasting my time  
And baby it's you I need,  
So please make up your mind  
It's time to choose

**Everytime you stay (every time you stay)  
The world starts making sense to me  
And when you go away (when you go away)  
I wanna scream till you see...**

I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait for you (yeah)  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait  
I don't wanna wait for you (wait for you, wait for you)

Baby it's you I want,  
So stop wasting my time (stop wasting my time)  
Oh baby it's you I need,  
So please make up your mind (please make up your mind)  
It's time to choose

I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
I don't wanna say  
Say goodbye to you...


End file.
